Have you ever wanted Gordon Ramsayto call your beloved child a “f*cking donkey?” Do you dream of him throwing your kids’ hard work into a garbage can? Do you hope that one day he’ll scream at your children until theyjumped off a bridge?
Your dreams could become a reality, becauseFOXand Gordon recently announced that they’re seeking children for a new series called Junior Masterchef! And when we say “children,” we don’t mean the emotionally stable 13-to-16-year-olds that the abortedTop Chef Junior series sought once upon a time. No, FOX is looking for the youngest, most innocent, most fragile children of them all: children between the ages of 8 and 13.
The casting call, provided by Eater, wants children “who regularly [cook] dinner for [their] family,” have “knife skills to match the professionals,” and “won’t be intimidated when quizzed them on the doneness of their soft boiled egg or the sear on their scallops.” In short, if you’re a “pushy stage mum” who abuses her kids, this show’s for you! Because who knows? Your child could be famous one day, like a culinary Lindsay Lohan!
see i would love to have my children on this show, this sounds amazing. this is why i do not get kids and why i am undateable. like not even drinks. because, like, let’s be real, gordon ramsay is AMAZING and should be every child’s nanny.